It’s always nice to be congratulated on my recent pregnancy. However, I always bring up the infertility issues I had, by responding with something like the following:
“Yes, I AM pregnant! Thank you! After many miscarriages I was worried it wouldn’t happen for us, but I’m so happy it did, finally!”
Usually the response is a bit awkward and sometimes I get words of encouragement or pity, but occasionally I get a reply like:
“So sorry to hear that. The same thing happened to me.”
To be honest though, I don’t really care what their response is.
Why do I feel the need to mention my infertility every time someone new mentions my pregnancy?
The main reason for sharing, is that I want to help normalize the (still taboo) subject of infertility that has women crying alone behind closed doors. I would like to help the women who are dealing with emotional and physical pain… usually in shame and loneliness!
I remember feeling so goddamn broken when I miscarried all those times while experiencing every emotion under the sun, including guilt, anger and resentment. I also experienced all the pain revolving around having something I truly desired being ripped away from me, over and over and over again.
And the worst part of this experience, was not knowing anyone close to me who had gone through my type of infertility; I felt like there was something truly wrong with me.
One thing’s for sure… there are plenty of us out there who are staying quiet for fear of judgment.
But I’m not for it.
Every chance I get, I talk about it, and hope that more women will do the same.
I have seen many celebrities and influencers speak out about infertility this year, and it’s a wonderful thing to share and connect with other women on such a personal level.
Here are a couple more reasons why I share:
- I would like anyone to know that they can come talk to me about it if they’re experiencing it too, as someone who can relate and empathize
- I want to be a source of hope for those who are still in the depths of despair, that there can be light at the end of the tunnel
As clichéd as it goes… at the end of the day, if I can help just one woman, it was worth my awkward response.
If you’ve experienced infertility (in any form), I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.